Yellow: Direct Response
Light Yellow: Additional Response
Celeste: Additional Points
“Wisdom accompanies those who seek advice” (PROV. 13:10).
1. How can we make good decisions and ensure that our plans succeed? (Proverbs 13:10; 15:22)
WE ALL want to make good decisions and for our plans to work out. The Word of God teaches us that to achieve this we have to ask for advice. (see Proverbs 13:10; 15:22).
2. What has Jehovah promised us?
2 Surely no one can give us better advice than our Father, Jehovah. That is why we do well to pray to him for wisdom. He has promised us: “I will counsel you with my eyes fixed on you” (Ps. 32:8). This means that Jehovah is very attentive to us, giving us the right advice we need and helping us apply it.
3. What questions will we answer in this article?
3 In this article we will use God's Word to answer four questions we may be asking ourselves: 1) “What qualities do I need to benefit from good advice?”, 2) “Who can give me good advice?”, 3) “Why is it good for me to have an open mind?” and 4) “Why shouldn’t I ask others to decide for me?”
“WHAT QUALITIES DO I NEED?”
4. What qualities do we need if we want to benefit from the advice we receive?
4 To benefit from the good advice we receive, we must be humble and modest. We must admit that we will often make better decisions if we ask for advice from someone who has more experience or knowledge than we do. Without these qualities, Jehovah cannot help us, and we will not see the need to apply the advice we read in His Word. (Micah 6:8; 1 Pet. 5:5) But if we are humble, we will have an open ear to any advice that comes from the Bible.
5. Why might King David have become proud?
5 Let's see what we can learn from the example of King David, who was humble despite his achievements and abilities. Many years before he became king, he was already a famous musician, and even played before King Saul. (1 Sam. 16:18, 19). When Jehovah chose him to be the next king, he empowered him with his holy spirit. (1 Sam. 16:11-13). And the people acclaimed him because he had defeated many enemies, like Goliath, the Philistine giant. (1 Sam. 17:37, 50; 18:7). Had he been proud, David might have thought, “With all I’ve accomplished in my life, I don’t need anyone to give me advice.” But he wasn’t like that.
6. How do we know David welcomed advice? (See also the image.)
6 When David was already king, he surrounded himself with trusted men to give him advice. (1 Chron. 27:32-34) And no wonder, because he had always been willing to listen to good advice, whether it came from a man or a woman. That's what happened to Abigail, the wife of an arrogant, selfish, and ungrateful man named Nabal. David was humble and heeded her advice, and thanks to that, he avoided making a terrible mistake. (1 Sam. 25:2, 3, 21-25, 32-34).
ILLUSTRATION
King David listens attentively to Abigail, who is sitting on the ground asking him to follow her advice.
King David was humble and heeded Abigail's advice. (See paragraph 6.)
7. What lessons does David's example teach us? (Ecclesiastes 4:13; see also the images.)
7 What lessons does David's example teach us? On the one hand, even though we may have a lot of talent and a certain amount of authority, we shouldn't think that we already know everything and don't need anyone's advice. On the other hand, we have to be willing to listen to any good advice, no matter who it comes from. (Read Ecclesiastes 4:13.) This way, we will be more likely to avoid making serious mistakes that could harm us or others.
ILLUSTRATION
Series of images: 1. Four elders gathered. One of them becomes agitated. 2. Later, in a vehicle, a young elder who was at the elders' meeting speaks privately to the one who had become agitated.
We must be willing to listen to any good advice, no matter who it comes from. (See paragraph 7.)
“WHO CAN GIVE ME GOOD ADVICE?”
8. Why was David right to seek Jonathan's advice?
8 Let us look at another lesson that David's example teaches us. He listened to the advice of those who 1) had a good relationship with Jehovah and 2) understood his situation well. For example, when he wanted to know if he could make peace with King Saul, he sought the advice of Saul's son, Jonathan. Why was Jonathan the best person in this case? Because he had a good relationship with Jehovah and also knew Saul very well. (1 Sam. 20:9-13) How can we imitate David's example?
9. If we need advice, who should we ask? Give an example (Proverbs 13:20).
9 When we need advice on something, it is good to ask someone who 1) has a good relationship with Jehovah and 2) has experience in that subject. (it’s Proverbs 13:20). For example, let's imagine a young man wants to get married. Who could he ask for advice? A single friend can offer helpful advice if it's based on biblical principles. But the young man will likely receive more practical and specific advice if he asks a spiritual partner who knows him well and has been happily married for some time.
10. What will we see now?
10 We have already analyzed what two qualities we need and who can give us good advice. Let's now look at why we should have an open mind and whether it's a good idea to ask others to decide for us.
“WHY IS IT GOOD TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND?”
11, 12. (a) What should we not do? (b) What did Rehoboam do when he had to make an important decision?
11 Sometimes someone may ask another person for advice on making a decision, but deep down, they've already made it and are just looking for someone to agree with them. Anyone who does this is not open-minded. King Rehoboam's bad example can serve as a warning to us all.
12 Rehoboam became king of Israel when his father, Solomon, died. At that time, the nation was very prosperous, but the Israelites complained that Solomon had demanded too much of them. So they asked Rehoboam to lighten their workload. The king replied that he needed time to think it over. And he started well, because he asked the advice of the elders who had been helping Solomon until then (1 Kings 12:2-7). However, he later rejected the advice they gave him. Why? Could it be that he had already decided what he wanted to do and was just looking for someone to agree with him? If so, that would explain why he later asked his younger friends, who told him exactly what he wanted to hear. (1 Kings 12:8-14). Rehoboam listened to them, and as a result, a portion of the nation rebelled. From then on, Rehoboam's reign was fraught with trouble (1 Kings 12:16-19).
13. What will help us know if we have an open mind?
13 What can we learn from what happened to Rehoboam? If we ask for advice, we should do so with an open mind, that is, without having already made up our minds. Let's ask ourselves: "If I ask for advice and I don't get what I want to hear, do I immediately reject it?" Let's take an example.
14. What should we remember? Give an example (see also the image).
14 Let's imagine that a brother is offered a job that pays well but involves spending long periods of time away from his family. Before giving an answer, he asks an elder for advice. The elder uses the Bible to remind him that his primary responsibility is to care for the spiritual needs of his family (Eph. 6:4; 1 Tim. 5:8). The brother immediately decides he doesn't agree with the elder and continues asking other brothers until finally one advises him to accept the job. Was he looking for advice, or was he really looking for someone to tell him the same thing he had already decided? Let us not forget that the heart is treacherous (Jer. 17:9). Sometimes the advice we need most is the one we least want to hear.
ILLUSTRATION
A sister asks several brothers and sisters for advice. She goes from one to another because she doesn't like what she hears.
Are we looking for advice, or are we really just looking for someone to agree with us? (See paragraph 14.)
“SHOULD I ASK OTHERS TO DECIDE FOR ME?”
15. What should we not do, and why?
15 Jehovah expects each Christian to decide for himself. (Gal. 6:4, 5) As we have seen, before making a decision, it is good to seek guidance from the Bible and from mature brothers. Now, what we shouldn't do is ask them to decide for us. So we wouldn't go to someone we trust and ask, "What would you do in my place?" On the other hand, it would not be right to copy what others do without stopping to think about the issue ourselves.
16. What decision did the Corinthian Christians have to make? (1 Corinthians 8:7; 10:25, 26)
16 Let's look at something that happened in the first century in the congregation at Corinth. Those Christians had to make a decision about meat that might have been offered to idols. Paul wrote to them: “We know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is no God but one” (1 Cor. 8:4). So some decided they could eat the meat they bought at the butcher shop even though it might have been offered to idols beforehand. Others decided they wouldn’t eat such meat because it would trouble their conscience (read 1 Corinthians 8:7; 10:25, 26). It was a personal decision. Paul never told the Corinthians to make decisions for others or to copy what others did. On the contrary, in Romans 14:10-12 he wrote: “Each of us will give an account of himself to God.”
17. What can happen if we just copy what others do? Give an example (see also the images).
17 What similar situation could arise today? Consider the issue of blood fractions. Every Christian must decide whether or not to accept them. This may be difficult for us to fully understand, but making decisions like this is part of our responsibility as Christians (Rom. 14:4). If we just copied what others did, we could weaken our conscience. The only way to train and strengthen it is to use it. (Heb. 5:14). Therefore, if we have to make a decision, we must first do our own research and see what biblical principles apply to our situation. And if we later feel we need help better understanding the matter, we would do well to seek the advice of a mature Christian.
ILLUSTRATION
Picture Series: 1. A brother uses the Bible, lesson 39 of the Enjoy Life book, and the video “Making Good Decisions About the Use of Blood” to fill out the blood refusal card. 2. He then listens to a mature brother showing him a Bible passage.
We should only seek advice after doing our own research. (See paragraph 17.)
LET'S KEEP ASKING FOR ADVICE
18. What has Jehovah done for us?
18 Jehovah allows us to make our own decisions, and in doing so shows us that he trusts us greatly. He has given us His Word and also mature friends who can help us understand how to apply biblical principles. In this way, He has fulfilled His responsibility as a Father. (Prov. 3:21-23) How can we show our gratitude for all he has given us?
19. How can we make Jehovah happy?
19 Parents love to see their children grow into mature, wise, and helpful servants of Jehovah. Similarly, our heavenly Father is happy to see that we continue to mature spiritually, seeking advice and making decisions that honor him.
WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?
Why should we be humble and modest?
We must be humble and modest so we can benefit from the good advice we receive. We must also admit that we will often make better decisions if we ask for the advice of someone who has more experience or knowledge than we do. Without these qualities, Jehovah cannot help us, and we will not see the need to apply the advice we read in his Word. But if we are humble, we will have our ears open to any advice that comes from the Bible.
Why should we have an open mind?
We must have an open mind, because if we ask for advice, we must accept that we may be told something we don't want to hear or that goes against the decision we've already made, when in reality we're just looking for someone to agree with us. If we've already made up our minds, let's ask ourselves: "If I ask for advice and they don't tell me what I want to hear, do I reject it immediately?" Let's not forget that the heart is treacherous. Sometimes, the advice we need most is the one we least want to hear.
Why shouldn't we ask others to decide for us?
We shouldn't ask others to decide for us, because Jehovah expects each Christian to decide for himself. Before making a decision, it's good to seek guidance from the Bible and the advice of mature brothers and sisters. However, what we shouldn't do is ask others to decide for us. Therefore, we wouldn't go to someone we trust and ask, "What would you do in my place?"
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