“Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy” (Psalm 126:5).
1, 2. How does Jehovah view your efforts to care for a loved one? (Proverbs 19:17; see also the pictures.)
Jehovah deeply values the efforts of those who lovingly care for a loved one. He sees every sacrifice they make, even if others don't notice. He knows their weariness, their sadness, and even the tears they shed in private. For Jehovah, tenderly caring for a family member or someone in need is like lending him a favor, and so he feels indebted to those who act in this way. Moreover, he promises to reward these efforts, because every act of love and every sacrifice is precious to him.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Without a doubt, Jehovah deeply values their sacrifices; moreover, he understands the feelings, exhaustion, and sadness that others sometimes fail to see.
Jehovah values it so much that, as we have read at Proverbs 19:17, it is as if we were making a loan to Jehovah, which is a great honor, and he promises to reward us.
The Bible provides several verses that show Jehovah's opinion of efforts to care for a loved one. For example, 1 Timothy 5:4 says that paying our parents and grandparents what we owe them is pleasing in God's eyes, and that failing to do so would be like rejecting the faith and being worse than a person without faith.
We have the experience of a brother from Korea. He says he has been married for 32 years and that, in the last five years, his wife was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, so she can no longer move. He says he loves her very much and that, when they sleep, they hold hands. This simple gesture is a special expression of their love, their mutual affection, and the care they have for each other.
When someone has to care for a loved one, they may smile on the outside, but inside they sometimes feel terrible. In their loneliness, they may even cry, feeling useless or limited, unable to do more. However, the thought that Jehovah is watching everything and will reward them gives them great encouragement.
In the image on the left, you can see that the sister has lost mobility and that another little sister is helping her to have breakfast or a snack.
The second image shows a married couple, and the wife is caring for her husband. He is in a wheelchair; we don't know how long or for how long, but he is immobile. This means she has to lift heavy things, bathe him, and attend to all his needs, since we don't know his mobility. She even has to help him with small details, like putting on his shoes, so he is practically dependent on her.
In the third image, we see parents caring for their son. He likely has epileptic seizures, which is why he wears this special helmet to protect himself from injury. This illustrates the sacrifice these parents make to care for their child.
In the fourth image, you can see a brother visiting his elderly father. In doing so, he is also contributing to his father's spirituality, as they are reading the Bible together and praying.
ILLUSTRATION
Images of caregivers in different circumstances. 1. A sister feeds her elderly mother, who is bedridden. 2. A sister puts shoes on her husband, who is in a wheelchair. 3. A sister puts a special helmet on her young son, who is going to play soccer with his father. 4. A brother has gone to his elderly father's house to visit him and pray with him.
Are you caring for a loved one? (See paragraph 2).
3. Why must it have been difficult for Abraham and Sarah to take care of Terah?
It must have been difficult for Abraham and Sarah to care for Terah because he was very old and the journey they undertook was long and demanding. Terah was around 200 years old, and traveling some 960 kilometers on camels or donkeys must have been especially uncomfortable and exhausting for him. Furthermore, the constant care he required during the journey surely demanded a great deal of physical and emotional effort from Abraham and Sarah, so it was understandable that they sometimes felt very tired or even exhausted.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because, as the paragraph shows, Abraham and Sarah left Ur when Terah was 200 years old; therefore, it must have been especially difficult to take care of him.
Since the journey was made by camel or donkey, which was common at that time, traveling 960 kilometers under those conditions must have been exhausting for everyone. And even more so if they also had to ensure Terah was well cared for, even though they had servants with them. Undoubtedly, Abraham and Sarah were primarily responsible, so it would be understandable that they felt very tired. But, being devout people, they surely prayed to Jehovah, and he gave them the necessary strength.
Abraham and Sarah weren't young either; they didn't have the same energy as young people, and besides, they weren't in a stable situation, since they were practically nomads. Therefore, having to pack everything up, move to another place, put everything back in order, and care for an elderly person who needed a lot of attention was undoubtedly a great challenge.
4. What will we see in this article?
This article will offer practical suggestions for caregivers to maintain their joy while caring for a loved one. It will also explore how others can support caregivers and explain why it's essential for caregivers to stay positive, as well as what factors might rob them of that joy.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
In this article, we'll explore more suggestions for maintaining a positive outlook and discuss what others can do for caregivers. But first, let's examine why it's essential for caregivers to stay joyful and what factors might steal that joy away.
Our joy does not depend on our surroundings or circumstances. As James 1:2 says, we can be in the midst of various trials and still have true happiness.
WHY IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN JOY
5. Why is it important to maintain joy?
It's important to maintain a positive attitude because if caregivers lose their joy, they are more likely to become exhausted. When they are tired, they may not be as kind or able to help the person they are caring for as much as they would like. Maintaining a positive attitude will give them the strength they need to continue caring with love and to keep a positive outlook.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because Proverbs 24:10 says that if you become discouraged in difficult times, you will lack strength.
If we try to maintain that joy, even if we are tired or discouraged, the task will be more bearable, and the person we are caring for will notice and will also be more cheerful.
The problem with losing joy is that caregivers can become exhausted and, as a result, are no longer as kind or able to do everything they would like for the person they are caring for. That's why it's important to maintain joy so we don't burn out.
6. Why do some caregivers get burned out?
Some caregivers experience burnout because constant caregiving can exhaust them both physically and emotionally. The daily strain, lack of adequate rest, and inability to disconnect can eventually leave them drained. Furthermore, many are unable to accept social invitations or participate in certain activities because they cannot leave their loved one alone, which can lead to feelings of isolation or being trapped by their circumstances.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because caring for someone during illness or in old age requires a great deal of physical and, above all, mental effort. The problem is that, sometimes, the caregiver doesn't find time to take care of themselves or recharge, even though this is essential.
This is what Inés tells us. She says that many nights she has to get up every two hours to look after her mother-in-law, something that undoubtedly leaves her exhausted. Furthermore, she can't even disconnect, because she and her husband haven't taken a vacation in years.
Emotional burnout can stem from circumstances preventing them from accepting social invitations or theocratic assignments they would also be very excited to pursue. As the paragraph states, they may feel isolated or trapped by their circumstances. It's a feeling akin to being imprisoned, and naturally, this takes an emotional toll and can rob them of joy.
7. Why do some caregivers feel guilty or sad?
Some caregivers feel guilty or sad because they think they aren't doing enough or because they need a break, and this makes them feel selfish. They may also experience remorse when they feel upset about their situation or when they lose their temper and say something inappropriate. In addition, it may be painful for them to see their loved one gradually losing strength and health.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Those who care for elderly or sick people may sometimes feel bad, because they believe they aren't doing enough or because they've lost their temper. Between everything they have to do and their own situation, they may have said or done something inappropriate. So it's not just what caring for someone entails, but also what one has to confront within oneself because of these situations.
James 3:2 reminds us that we all stumble over our words, for otherwise we would be perfect. The truth is, when emotions are involved, it's very easy to let down the people we care for, and that can make us feel bad. However, we must remember that imperfection accompanies us in every process, even when we are caring for loved ones.
Another thing that can make them feel sad is seeing a loved one deteriorate and no longer be able to do certain things. That is also very painful.
There are also the cases of some caregivers who struggle with feelings of remorse, because from time to time they feel upset about the situation they are going through.
8. How have some caregivers felt when they have been thanked for their help?
Some caregivers have felt greatly encouraged, strengthened, and filled with joy when they have been thanked for their help. These expressions of gratitude have served as a boost of encouragement, helping them to carry on with renewed strength, motivation, and a desire to continue providing loving care, despite the challenges.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
In this paragraph, we have the example of Melissa, who feels a jolt of encouragement when she is thanked. Indeed, we can see in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 how Jehovah knows the powerful effect of this simple expression, giving thanks, and that is why he says that it is his will to do so.
It's difficult for a caregiver to maintain a positive outlook due to the emotional and physical strain of caregiving, and sometimes the extended time commitment involved. Furthermore, they may feel that their efforts are not appreciated.
SUGGESTIONS FOR MAINTAINING JOY
9. In what ways do caregivers demonstrate that they are modest?
Caregivers demonstrate humility when they acknowledge that their strength and time are limited. This leads them to determine what they can and cannot do, to say no to some things without feeling bad, and to gladly accept help from others when it is offered. In this way, they recognize their limitations and avoid becoming overwhelmed.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Recognizing their limitations and accepting help from others.
They are humble when they acknowledge their limitations. These limitations don't exist because one doesn't want to, but because they are unavoidable. Not everyone can care for their loved ones 24 hours a day, because we have other responsibilities to fulfill. That's why it's important for someone in the congregation to offer to help the caregiver. Accepting that help, being grateful, and recognizing that their abilities and time are limited demonstrates humility.
Proverbs 11:2 says that wisdom is with the humble. Indeed, an article in The Watchtower of May 15, 2010, entitled “Stay Spiritually Strong While Caring for a Sick Family Member,” tells of a brother who, in addition to his secular job, was a coordinator of the body of elders, a service overseer, and a member of the liaison committee with the hospitals in his area. He also had to care for his wife, who was seriously ill. After much prayer, he decided to step down as coordinator. With less freedom and fewer responsibilities, he was able to devote more time to his wife and avoid burnout. In this way, he demonstrated humility.
10. Why do caregivers need to have discernment? (Proverbs 19:11).
Caregivers need to be perceptive enough to see beyond the obvious and understand why their loved one acts or speaks in a certain way. This allows them to remain calm in tense situations and avoid taking personally behaviors that may actually be a consequence of their loved one's illness. By understanding that the problem is not the person, but their condition, they will find it easier to understand why their loved one does or says certain things.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because insight prevents us from becoming unnecessarily irritated. Sometimes, illness causes a person to say or do hurtful things, but it's not really the person speaking, but the illness, which leads them to say or do things they don't truly mean. Although at that moment those words or actions may upset us, insight will help us understand that it's not the person, but their condition.
Something that is very useful for brothers and sisters who have to care for other people is to research the illness they have, because that way they can better understand the situation and provide more effective help.
Proverbs 19:11 says that insight turns away anger, because it helps us see beyond the obvious. In the case of caregivers, understanding that certain behaviors don't stem from the person, but from their illness, allows us to remain calm.
Something that will help us put into practice the suggestion from Proverbs to be discerning is also using empathy: thinking about how I would feel if I were in the circumstances of the sick person, friend, or family member I am caring for. Would I be able to be more sympathetic and kind, or would I surely feel more frustrated than they do? This will also help us understand their reactions and see them in the correct context, so that we don't become discouraged.
As the first sentence of this paragraph states, we must try to see beyond the obvious. The obvious thing is that they have spoken ill of or mistreated the caregiver, but seeing beyond that means recognizing that it is not the person, but the illness. Proverbs 14:29 will help us cultivate two qualities: patience and discernment, which will allow us to better handle these situations.
11. What important things should caregivers make time for every day? (Psalm 132:4, 5)
Caregivers should set aside time each day to strengthen their friendship with Jehovah. This includes reading the Bible, praying, and meditating on Jehovah’s words. Putting worship of God first gives them strength and helps them maintain a joyful outlook, just as King David did. Even though he was very busy, he showed that worshiping Jehovah was the most important thing in his life.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Caregivers should set aside time each day to strengthen their friendship with Jehovah. A good example is King David, who was very busy, but for him, his relationship with Jehovah was paramount. They should dedicate time each day to Bible reading and prayer, since, in the words of Sister Elisha, prayer was her salvation.
In these situations, one might think that if they dedicate all their time to caring for the person they're looking after, they won't have any time to study. But the effect is quite the opposite, because those moments of study and meditation are what give them the energy to continue. They're like breaks, spiritual pauses, that will then allow them to care for the person with greater joy and, moreover, even do it better physically.
Joy does not depend on circumstances, but on our relationship with Jehovah. Therefore, to maintain joy and a positive attitude, it is essential to make an effort to dedicate time to nurturing our friendship with Jehovah. If our relationship with Jehovah weakens, joy is also lost.
12. Why do caregivers need to set aside time to take care of their health?
Caregivers need to make time for their own health because good nutrition, exercise, and rest are essential for their physical and mental well-being. Neglecting these aspects can lead to increased fatigue, anxiety, or stress, making it difficult to continue providing care with joy. Furthermore, getting enough sleep and engaging in enjoyable activities helps reduce stress, restore energy, and maintain balance so they can continue caring for their loved one.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because you're so busy and focused on helping a loved one, you can neglect yourself. You might eat quickly and unhealthily, and perhaps you don't exercise because you don't want to leave that person for a moment. You have to be very careful, because then your own health can suffer, and in the end, you'll also need care. That's why, if you want to maintain your health to care for a loved one for a long time, you must pay attention to rest, exercise, and a good diet.
It's also important to take care of your mental health, and it's good to disconnect from time to time and do other activities. As this sister suggests, it doesn't have to be a spectacular trip, but simple things like taking a walk, getting some fresh air, enjoying the sun, meeting up with a friend, or doing something with a friend.
We might think that taking time for ourselves is taking time away from a loved one we should be caring for. If we think this way, we can benefit from the words at Ecclesiastes 4:6, which appear in the paragraph: ‘A handful of rest is better than two handfuls of hard work.’ Taking care of ourselves will help us avoid having to spend even more time later dealing with a personal health problem.
13. Why is laughter good? (Proverbs 17:22).
Laughter is good because it benefits both the body and the mind. Having a sense of humor helps relieve stress, cope better with difficult situations, and maintain a positive attitude. Furthermore, when caregivers and their loved ones laugh together, it strengthens their bond and makes them feel closer.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We all know that laughter is good for the body and mind, and as the text says, it helps us avoid running out of energy. It's true that it's not always easy, but if we manage to approach stressful moments, like caring for a loved one, with a bit of humor and joy, we'll ultimately benefit.
We've all experienced stressful, exhausting moments, and even moments when we've considered giving up. But often, when talking with family or friends, we find humor and a spark in the situation, even laughing at what's happening. If we can do that while it's happening to us, laughter will surely help us extract something positive from the moment.
14. Why is it good to talk to a trusted friend?
It's good to talk to a trusted friend because it allows you to vent without being judged, receive understanding, and find comfort. A friend who listens patiently can ease the emotional burden, offer encouragement, and help you find joy again when the situation feels overwhelming.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because this friend will surely listen to everything we carry in our hearts, won't judge us or be scandalized by what we tell them, and can offer us comfort. Furthermore, they can also help us find that smile we need at that moment.
Proverbs 12:25 says that a kind word revives, and Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend is always there for you. In these moments of distress, having someone point out what you're doing right—or even where you've gone wrong—will revive and uplift you.
For those of us who are not caregivers, it's good to set ourselves the goal of being that friend. And although it can sometimes be overwhelming, Isaiah 50:4 explains how Isaiah received help from Jehovah: He gave him the tongue of the instructed to know what to answer and awakened his ear to listen. So those of us who are not caregivers can set ourselves that goal and receive Jehovah's help.
We are surrounded by good friends who, in times of distress, have comforted us simply by listening. When caregivers often feel overwhelmed, all they want is to be heard. They just need someone by their side, and that fulfills what Proverbs 17:17 says: ‘A friend is a brother in times of trouble,’ and that is where we should be.
A good friend won't judge or be scandalized. That's why they're called a trustworthy friend; they're not just anyone.
15. What are the benefits of talking about life in Paradise?
Talking about life in Paradise has many benefits, as it comforts and encourages both the caregiver and their loved one. Remembering that current suffering and limitations are temporary strengthens hope, helps to better endure difficulties, and allows one to focus on a future filled with health, enjoyable activities, and "true life."
Furthermore, talking about these promises draws us closer to Jehovah, fills us with gratitude, and helps us to cope with these temporary tasks, since when Jehovah created humans, his purpose did not include us having to care for the sick or the elderly.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Paradise is such a comforting truth that it helps us remember that this situation is temporary and that what is mentioned at 1 Timothy 6:19—that “life that is really life”—will soon arrive. Meditating on this will help us endure for now. Furthermore, as Sister Heather mentions, we will eventually feel grateful to Jehovah for this hope, which will make it easier for us to maintain our joy.
It is good to keep in mind a list of biblical texts that remind us that the current situation will be nothing compared to what we will have for eternity: perfect health.
One thing that can bring us joy when we talk about paradise is visualizing ourselves in that new world, where sickness will be eliminated and everything that causes us suffering will disappear. As the apostle Paul said, in this system, although we wear ourselves out physically and emotionally, we have the hope in Jehovah that, in the new world, we will grow stronger and be renewed every day. Jehovah will be with us, we will continue to be taught by him, and there will be no limits to our learning.
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR CAREGIVERS
16. What can we do if there is a caregiver in our congregation? (See also the picture.)
If there is a caregiver in our congregation, we can help by giving them time to rest. This includes offering to care for the person they are caring for, arranging shifts with other members to support them, spending time with the person being cared for, or even helping out one night so the caregiver can get a good night's sleep. In this way, we share their burden, allow them to attend to personal matters, and demonstrate our love and Christian support.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We can follow what Galatians 6:2 says and bear one another's burdens. For example, we can offer to spend time with the loved one they are caring for, keeping an eye on them and thus giving them time to attend to personal obligations that, because of caring for someone, they haven't been able to fulfill, or simply to dedicate time to activities they enjoy and that help them clear their minds.
In the picture we see that two sisters have offered to look after their sick sister, who is in a wheelchair, presumably so that her caregiver can go for a walk, do something she likes or simply take care of some personal matters.
We can offer practical help. What's most exhausting for caregivers is having to look after their relatives at night. That's why shifts can sometimes be organized to share that responsibility.
We can help them learn about government services, because in some countries there are people who visit homes to help those with disabilities. We can help them find out about these services, and we can also offer to stay overnight or help with hygiene or other tasks that the caregiver may not be able to handle completely.
ILLUSTRATION
Two sisters are visiting an older sister, and the caregiver waves a smiling goodbye as she walks towards the exit.
What can we do if there is a caregiver in our congregation? (See paragraph 16.)
17. How can we help caregivers during meetings?
We can support caregivers during meetings by offering to attend to the person they are caring for, either by sitting with them for the entire meeting or for part of it. This allows the caregiver to focus more effectively. Additionally, if the person is unable to leave home, we can offer our assistance and join the meeting with them, giving the caregiver the opportunity to participate in person.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Similarly, as we saw in the previous paragraph, we can put ourselves in their shoes. Perhaps they have to be with their loved one throughout the meeting; in that case, we can offer to accompany them so they can pay closer attention. If the person is unable to leave home, we can go to their home and connect to the meeting so the caregiver can attend in person.
The idea of going to the home of the sick person and connecting via Zoom so the caregiver can attend the meeting in person is very interesting. It's not just about the instruction we receive, but also about the environment, the encouragement and support, which are also essential.
18. What else can we do for caregivers?
In addition to practical help, we can encourage caregivers and pray for them. Elders should shepherd them regularly, and all of us can offer them words of encouragement and affection. It is also very valuable to ask Jehovah in prayer to strengthen them and help them maintain a cheerful disposition as they care for their loved one.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We can make it a habit to offer words of encouragement and affection, either in person at meetings or through text messages or calls, because this greatly helps and strengthens the person caring for a sick relative. We can also ask Jehovah to continue strengthening them so that they can maintain their joy.
The elders, in harmony with Proverbs 27:23, which says: ‘Know the appearance of your flock well. Take good care of your sheep,’ should visit the caretakers and shepherd them regularly.
19. What do we expect to happen soon?
We hope that very soon Jehovah will completely eliminate pain, sickness, and death. He will dry all tears, restore health, and make the limitations of the past a thing of the past. Until that day arrives, we trust that Jehovah will continue to be by our side and will give us the strength we need to endure with patience and joy.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
As Revelation 21:3-4 says, Jehovah will eliminate pain, sickness, and death. But until that day comes, we hope that Jehovah will give us strength to endure and remain close to him, and we ask him to help us maintain patience and joy.
Knowing that all these difficulties are temporary helps us to carry out the task of caring for our loved ones. This means that, in addition to asking Jehovah to give us the necessary strength, we should remember that, in the near future, all of this will be a thing of the past.
WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?
What things could steal the joy from caregivers?
Caregivers can have their joy stolen by various circumstances. These include physical and emotional exhaustion, caused by constant caregiving, lack of rest, and the inability to disconnect.
Also feelings of guilt or sadness, such as thinking they are not doing enough, feeling selfish for needing rest, losing their temper at some point, or seeing their loved one gradually losing strength and health over time.
Furthermore, the lack of recognition and gratitude for their efforts and sacrifices can make them feel that their work is not valued, which affects their mood and happiness.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
It could rob them of joy if the sister or brother they are caring for says something they don't like because of their illness, or if the caregivers become physically and emotionally exhausted.
The feeling of guilt that can sometimes appear could steal their joy, either because we believe we are not doing enough or because, on occasion, we are not up to the task and lose our temper.
It could rob them of the joy of knowing that their efforts might not be appreciated and they might not receive the 'thank you' they expect. Of course, that could be very discouraging for them.
What can caregivers do to maintain joy?
Caregivers can maintain a positive outlook by being humble, recognizing their limitations, saying no when necessary, and accepting help from others. They also need the insight to see beyond the obvious and understand that certain behaviors in their loved one are due to the illness.
In addition, it is essential that they make time to strengthen their friendship with Jehovah through Bible reading and daily prayer. Taking care of their health is also key: eating well, exercising, getting enough rest, and setting aside time for activities they enjoy.
They shouldn't lose their sense of humor, as laughter helps relieve stress and strengthens emotional bonds. Talking to a trusted friend allows them to vent and receive encouragement.
Finally, imagining and talking about life in Paradise fills them with hope and comfort, reminding them that current difficulties are temporary.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Be modest and recognize that not everything depends on you, accept the help that is offered and be perceptive: see beyond the obvious, do not focus on the superficial, but try to discern the situation.
We have also seen that it is important to dedicate time to strengthening our friendship with Jehovah and to taking care of our health.
They shouldn't lose their sense of humor, both for themselves and with the person they're caring for, and they should share that joy. It's also important to lean on friends to confide in them and share their feelings.
Imagine what you would do together in paradise with the person you are caring for. In this way, you encourage yourself and also encourage the person you are caring for.
What can we do for caregivers?
We can help them have time to rest by offering to care for the person they are looking after, even organizing shifts or helping out one night so they can sleep well.
Supporting them during meetings, sitting with the person they are caring for, or helping at home so that the caregiver can attend and concentrate better.
In addition, encourage them with kind words and pray for them, asking Jehovah to strengthen them and help them to maintain their joy.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We can help caregivers have time to rest, support them during meetings, give them words of encouragement, praise and affection, and pray for them.
Comments
Post a Comment