Yellow: Direct Response
Light Yellow: Additional Response
Celeste: Additional Points
“Do not judge matters of differing opinions” (ROM. 14:1).
1, 2. Why do we sometimes make different decisions than other siblings?
Have you ever been criticized for a decision you made? Or perhaps you were the one who criticized a sibling for something they decided to do? I'm sure almost all of us have been in those situations.
2 It shouldn't surprise us that we sometimes make different decisions than our siblings. Why? Because we are all different. Each person has their own way of thinking based on their culture, family background, and personal experiences. However, we must not allow that to threaten the peace and unity of the congregation (Eph. 4:3).
3. What might lead us to judge a sibling's decision?
3 When a sibling makes a decision we don't agree with, we might think we need to talk to them to change their mind, or perhaps we discuss our opinion of their decision with others. Surely our intentions are good. We love our brothers and sisters and want what is best for them (Prov. 17:17). That is why we do not want them to do anything they will later regret or anything that will damage their friendship with Jehovah.
4, 5. What should we do if a Christian makes a different decision than we would have made?
4 Should we tell a brother that we don't agree with a certain decision he has made? Well, it depends. For example, if we learn that he is thinking of doing something that goes against a biblical command, love should compel us to try to help him correct his way of thinking. (Prov. 27:5, 6). But what if their decision doesn't violate any of God's laws, but is simply different from the one we would have made? Romans 14:1 tells us what to do in that case: “Do not judge matters of opinion.”
5 Even so, we may find it difficult to respect their decision. In this article, we'll look at why we should respect other people's decisions and how to do so. But first, let's consider some situations in which we might feel compelled to judge our siblings' personal choices.
WHAT DECISIONS MIGHT WE FEEL COMPELLED TO JUDGE?
6, 7. Mention situations in which we might feel compelled to judge the decisions of others.
6 As we saw earlier, it is possible that due to our background or experiences we may have very strong opinions on certain matters. And we might assume that others see things the same way we do. But that doesn't have to be the case. Let's look at some examples. Situation 1: Before becoming a Witness, a brother grew up with a father who had a drinking problem. When he sees other brothers drinking alcohol at a social gathering, he becomes very upset and tells them they are doing something wrong. Scenario 2: A sister has overcome a serious illness. Later, she learns that another sister has the same illness. Wanting to help her, she pressures her to follow the same treatment, whether it be a certain diet, conventional medicine, or natural remedies. Situation 3: A brother formerly belonged to a false religion and feels a deep aversion to everything related to it. When he learns that a brother entered a church to attend a funeral, he is scandalized.
7 Let's look at some more examples. Situation 4: A brother grew up in a time when most people considered it inappropriate for men to grow beards and for women to wear dress pants on formal occasions. Although he is aware of the new faithful slave guidelines, he continues to tell others that brothers should not grow beards and that sisters should wear dresses when participating in spiritual activities. Situation 5: An elder knows a brother who pursued further studies and then left the truth. Now a young brother in the congregation has decided to continue studying. The elder is concerned and tries to persuade the young man and his parents to change their minds.
8. a) Why might parents start judging other parents? b) What might happen if we question siblings' personal decisions?
8 Let us consider an example for parents. Situation 6: You do your best to raise your children “according to Jehovah’s discipline and counsel” (Eph. 6:4). But there are other Christian parents who seem to be more permissive. They may let their children come home later, play non-violent video games, or have a phone at a younger age. That's why your child might ask you, "Why are you so strict? Couldn't you be more like my friends' parents?" As a result, you might start judging other parents. So far we have mentioned some situations, but there are more. For example, we could ask a brother how he spends his money, how often he goes on vacation, or what kind of entertainment he chooses. In reality, any personal decision a brother makes that differs from our own could cause disagreements. However, we must not allow our opinions to outweigh the unity of the congregation.
9. What should we remember? (See also the image).
9 We might make a different decision than another sibling, but that doesn't necessarily mean one is right and the other is wrong. (Rom. 14:5). When the Bible says that Christians should have “the same way of thinking,” it means that we should all share the same opinion about Jehovah’s standards, not that we have to think the same way about absolutely everything. (2 Cor. 13:11). Imagine several people want to travel to a certain place. Each person might make different decisions about how to get there based on their preferences and circumstances. But they will all arrive at the same destination. Similarly, Christians may make different decisions in personal matters, but we all have the same goal: to please Jehovah. That is why we do not judge the personal decisions of others. (Matt. 7:1; 1 Thess. 4:11).
ILLUSTRATION
A map appears on a phone screen showing various routes and means of transport to reach the same destination.
Not all travelers choose the same route to reach a destination; likewise, not all Christians make the same personal decisions in their service to Jehovah. (See paragraph 9.)
WHY RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S DECISIONS
10. According to James 4:12, what authority do we not have, and why?
10 The Bible mentions several reasons why we should respect the personal decisions of others. Let's look at some of them. We do not have the authority to judge what others do in personal matters (read James 4:12). Jehovah is the supreme Lawgiver and Judge. So only he has the right to set laws and standards, and the brothers have to give an account to him, not to us (Rom. 14:10). It is not up to us to judge or criticize the decisions of others based on our own criteria and opinions.
11. How do we contribute to the unity of the congregation? (See also the picture.)
11 Jehovah expects unity, not uniformity, among his servants. Our God loves variety. We see it clearly in His creation. For example, no two snowflakes are alike. And the same is true of human beings. Of the more than 8 billion people who live in the world, no two have exactly the same appearance or personality. Jehovah created us to be different, not to be clones of one another. However, he does want us to be united. Therefore, instead of allowing differences to divide us, we foster peace. For us, the unity of the congregation is more important than our individual likes and opinions. (Rom. 14:19).
ILLUSTRATION
A group of Witnesses of different ages and races are eating together. Some are drinking alcohol, and others are not. Some have beards, and others do not.
Jehovah created us to be different, but he wants us to be united. (See paragraph 11.)
HOW TO RESPECT THE OPINIONS AND DECISIONS OF OTHERS
12, 13. What should we ask ourselves if we feel that someone has taken “a false step”? (Galatians 6:1; see also the box “If a Decision Seems Wrong to You”).
12 When others make decisions in personal matters, ask yourself: “Is the brother taking ‘a false step,’ or is he simply taking a different step than I would?” If you are taking a false step, that is, overlooking a Bible command, ask yourself: “Am I the right person to talk to him, or should someone else, perhaps an elder, do it?” If you meet the Scriptural qualifications to help, try to reason with him in a mild spirit (read Galatians 6:1). But most of the time it will simply be a different step than the one we would have taken. In that case, let's not question their decision or speak negatively about it. Let's respect their right to decide and not judge our brother (Rom. 14:2-4).
13 Let's imagine the following situation. If we go to a restaurant with a friend, we wouldn't insist that they order the same food as us, would we? Naturally, we'd let them choose what they prefer. After all, what our friend decides to eat will have little impact on our lives. And we wouldn't like it if they ordered our food based on their tastes either. Similarly, we show respect for others by letting them make personal decisions without trying to impose our opinion on them.
14. How can you contribute to the unity of the congregation by making personal decisions? (1 Corinthians 8:12, 13)
14 When you make decisions in personal matters. You can contribute to the unity of the congregation if you strive not to offend others (read 1 Corinthians 8:12, 13). Let's say you are about to make a decision and you know that what you plan to do is "permitted." Now, if it involves offending a brother, will it be "beneficial"? (1 Cor. 10:23, 24) In such cases, instead of insisting on your rights, it might be better to set aside your preferences. (Rom. 15:1). But didn't we just say that others should respect our decisions in personal matters? Yes, that's right. They should respect our decisions, and we should respect theirs. However, we should also keep in mind the counsel of Romans 12:18: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” So we do everything reasonably within our power to keep peace with others and not offend them.
15. How can elders contribute to the unity of the congregation? (1 Corinthians 4:6)
15 Elderly people respect the decisions of others. They contribute to the unity of the congregation by not setting rules on personal matters and by not going “beyond the things that are written” in the Bible (read 1 Corinthians 4:6). Nor do they go beyond the Bible-based advice found in our publications. Furthermore, when a brother asks them for help, they do not base their advice on their own experience, but on the Word of God (Isa. 48:17, 18).
16. How does each elder demonstrate respect for the decisions made by the body of elders?
16 The elders also respect the decisions made by the body of elders as a whole. Once the body of elders has prayed for holy spirit, carefully analyzed what the Bible says and made a decision, each elder should support the majority's decision even if he does not agree with his personal opinion (Eph. 5:17). On the other hand, when the elderly read instructions from the organization, they are very careful not to misinterpret them or see beyond what they actually say. For example, they do not use a phrase from our publications taken out of context to try to support their personal opinion.
17. What are the benefits of respecting other people's decisions?
17 As we have seen, we are all very different. We have our own tastes and opinions. How wonderful that such variety exists among Jehovah's people! The diverse backgrounds and personalities of the brothers and sisters make the congregation a welcoming place. Therefore, instead of letting our differences divide us, we foster peace. We strive not to offend others and respect their decisions in personal matters. As a result, the congregation is united and happy. (Ps. 133:1; Matt. 5:9).
HOW DO THESE TEXTS HELP US RESPECT THE OPINIONS AND DECISIONS OF OTHERS?
James 4:12
James 4:12 helps us by reminding us that we have no authority to judge the personal decisions of others. Jehovah is the Lawgiver and Supreme Judge; only he has the right to establish laws and standards. Therefore, the brothers and sisters are accountable to him, not to us. Consequently, it is not our place to judge or criticize the decisions of others based on our own criteria or opinions.
Galatians 6:1
Galatians 6:1 helps us remember that if we feel a brother has taken “a false step,” we should first ask ourselves: “Am I the right person to talk to him, or should someone else, perhaps an elder, do it?” If we are qualified under the Bible to help, we should try to reason with that person in a mild spirit.
1 Corinthians 4:6; 8:12, 13
1 Corinthians 4:6 and 8:12, 13 help us to contribute to the unity of the congregation by striving not to offend others. For example, if we are about to make a decision and we know that what we are planning to do is “permitted,” but it might offend a brother, instead of insisting on our rights, it may be better to set aside our preferences to promote peace and unity.
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