“I prefer to beg you by appealing to love” (FILEM. 9).
1. What responsibility do we all have?
We all have a responsibility to contribute to and protect the peace of the congregation. Isaiah 32:17, 18 links justice with peace and tranquility, and allows us to imagine how wonderful it will be to live like this in Paradise.
Although Jehovah makes peace possible, Romans 12:18 reminds us that we must do all that depends on us to be at peace with others. This includes controlling our words, being understanding when someone makes a mistake, and taking the initiative to resolve problems.
This makes us realize that peace isn't just about no one arguing, but about everyone striving to nurture our relationships. How wonderful it is when each of us contributes to making the congregation a place where we feel safe and loved.
THE PLEA
2. Briefly tell the story of Philemon and Onesimus (Philemon 8, 9, 17).
Philemon was a Christian from Colossae, known for his faith and his love for the brothers. Onesimus was his slave, but he ran away to Rome and may have taken money from his master, as Philemon 18 indicates.
There he met the apostle Paul and became a Christian. Over time, he became a dear friend of Paul's. However, Onesimus had to return to Philemon, and Paul decided to send him back with a letter in which he begged Philemon to welcome him back warmly.
In Philemon 17, Paul even asked her to receive him as she would receive him. This suggests that Christian conversion can profoundly transform a person and that we should allow others to demonstrate the changes they have undergone.
3. What might Paul have wondered when he sent Onesimus back? (See also the image.)
Paul may have wondered how Philemon would react to Onesimus's return. Perhaps he feared that Philemon would exercise his legal authority and punish him severely, or that the matter would cause tension among other members of the congregation.
The apostle understood that this was not a private matter without consequences, since the way it was resolved could affect the peace of the brothers. Therefore, he wrote to Philemon personally and sent the letter through Tychicus, as we see in Ephesians 6:21, 22 and Colossians 4:7-9. He also wrote to the congregation in Colossae.
This reminds us that when a difficult situation arises, we should consider how it will affect others and seek a solution that promotes peace. The image helps us imagine the moment when Philemon hears Paul's request. How important it is to prepare our hearts to respond with love.
ILLUSTRATION
Philemon reads aloud Paul's letter in front of a group that includes Onesimus and Tychicus (see paragraph 3).
WHAT WE LEARN FROM PAUL
4, 5. How can elders contribute to a peaceful atmosphere in the congregation?
Elders can contribute to peace by treating their brothers and sisters as friends, not as people over whom they have authority to impose their preferences. Paul reminded Philemon of their friendship and, in 2 Corinthians 1:24, explained that he did not intend to dominate their faith, but rather to work together for their joy.
Similarly, 1 Peter 5:1-3 advises elders to shepherd with love and be examples to the flock, rather than acting as masters. Therefore, listening attentively, spending time with the brothers and sisters, and appreciating their efforts can make a big difference.
This suggests that spiritual authority should alleviate burdens, not add them. When elders take a genuine interest in people, trust is built and everyone feels more willing to cooperate.
6. Why is it important to praise others?
Because we all need to feel valued by others. In Philemon 4, 5, 7, Paul highlighted his brother's faith and love, thereby encouraging him. Sometimes, some people struggle with insecurity, compare themselves to others, or fear losing a responsibility they cherish.
If these feelings build up, they can become touchy or defensive. Proverbs 12:25 says that a kind word brings joy to the heart, and that reminds us of the effect that sincere praise can have.
This reminds us that we shouldn't wait for someone to achieve something extraordinary to express our appreciation. We can acknowledge their perseverance, their generosity, or the effort they make to attend meetings.
In the congregation, a few well-timed words can lift the spirits of someone going through a difficult time without others even noticing. Let's not withhold the good we see in others.
7. Why should we be careful about what we say about others? (Philemon 10-12).
We must be careful, because our words can greatly influence how others see and treat a person. In Philemon 10-12, Paul spoke of Onesimus with affection and emphasized the value he had acquired for him. In doing so, he helped Philemon see him not just as the runaway slave, but as a Christian brother who had changed.
If we constantly focus on someone's mistakes, others may end up defining them by those mistakes and forgetting their virtues. On the other hand, talking about their good qualities helps them receive fairer and more caring treatment.
This makes us wonder if our conversations protect or damage our siblings' reputations. It's not about hiding serious problems, but about avoiding unnecessary or malicious comments.
8. What will help us to think and speak well of our siblings? (See also the pictures.)
It will help us to get used to noticing the good qualities of our brothers and sisters and thanking Jehovah for them. In Philemon 4, 5, Paul explained that he mentioned his brother in his prayers and thanked him for his faith and love. He also expressed gratitude for the qualities of other congregations, as we see in 1 Corinthians 1:4-7 and Philippians 1:3-5.
Paul was neither naive nor unaware of others' imperfections; he simply did not allow them to overshadow the good. This makes us think that we can do something similar when a brother or sister is a little difficult for us. Let us pray for him or her and look for a quality for which we can thank Jehovah. In this way, it will be more natural to speak well of that person.
The image of the older brother praising the younger one reminds us that a sincere comment can be very encouraging. If we train our hearts to see the good, our words will reflect more love.
ADDITIONAL COMMENT
It will help us to focus on the good qualities of our brothers and sisters and thank Jehovah for them, just as Paul did, according to Philemon 4 and 5. Although we all have faults, we can strive to see the good in others and pray for them. This will make it more natural for us to speak of them with affection and contribute to the peace of the congregation.
ILLUSTRATION
Series of images: 1. Paul writes a letter with his hand in chains. 2. In a Kingdom Hall, an older brother congratulates a younger brother in front of others.
Like Paul, let us have a positive opinion of our brothers and speak well of them (see paragraph 8).
9. Why is it so striking that Paul spoke kindly to Philemon?
It is striking, because Paul had suffered greatly, and yet he did not allow his circumstances to harden his way of treating others. He had been attacked, unjustly imprisoned, and had survived a shipwreck. Now he was under house arrest, as Philemon 1 indicates.
Anyone could understand that someone under so much pressure might experience moments of exhaustion or frustration. However, the letter she wrote conveys affection and consideration. This reminds us that when we are stressed, tired, or worried, we should be especially mindful of our words.
We may not be able to immediately change the circumstances that overwhelm us, but we can strive not to take out our frustration on our family or siblings. Paul's kindness teaches us that trials don't have to rob us of tenderness.
WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM ONÉSIMO
10. What does the example of Onesimus teach us?
Onesimus teaches us that we must be willing to acknowledge our mistakes and do what is necessary to repair a relationship. Returning to Philemon must not have been easy. He had to travel a distance of more than 1,400 kilometers and didn't know for sure how he would be received.
Furthermore, he might have to face the consequences of his past actions. Even so, he was willing to return. The story doesn't explain all his motivations, but it does show that he didn't let the difficulties prevent him from making peace.
This suggests that when we offend someone, we shouldn't wait for them to make the first move or justify our pride. We may also have reasons to feel hurt, but that doesn't absolve us of responsibility. Sometimes, regaining a friendship requires courage and humility.
11. If we have offended someone, how can we make peace? (See also the pictures.)
Jesus explained in Matthew 5:23-25 that we should take the initiative to resolve unfinished business with our brothers and sisters. If we have offended someone, we can begin by offering a sincere apology and calmly listening to how they felt.
It's important to specifically acknowledge what we did wrong, without adding a "but" that ends up justifying our behavior. For example, saying "I'm sorry I spoke to you like that" can be more sincere than saying "I'm sorry you took it the wrong way."
Romans 14:19 also encourages us to seek the things that promote peace and build each other up. This reminds us that apologizing doesn't make us weak; on the contrary, it shows that we value the relationship more than our pride. Perhaps the other person needs time to recover, but we can humbly do our part.
ILLUSTRATION
Series of images: 1. Onesimus. 2. Two brothers are sitting in a park, and one is sincerely apologizing to the other.
Like Onesimus, let us be humble and promote peace (see paragraph 11).
WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM PHILEMON
12. Why was Paul convinced that Philemon would forgive Onesimus?
Paul was convinced because he knew Philemon's Christian qualities well. In Philemon 17, he asked him to receive Onesimus as he would receive himself. And in verse 21, he expressed his confidence that Philemon would do even more than he asked.
Although the Bible doesn't explicitly tell us how the situation ended, Paul's words show that he trusted in his brother's faith and love. He didn't base his hope on Philemon being perfect, but on the fact that he had a heart willing to do what was right.
This leads us to believe that we, too, can help others act well when we show them trust and appeal to their best qualities. Instead of assuming someone will react badly, we can give them the opportunity to demonstrate their Christian love.
13. Why is showing love essential to maintaining peace? (Colossians 3:14).
Love is essential because it motivates us to seek the well-being of others, even when they have disappointed us. Philemon was already known for loving his brothers, as we read in Philemon 5, and that quality could help him forgive Onesimus.
Colossians 3:14 says that love is “a perfect bond of union.” The image is very fitting, because just as a bond holds different parts together, love helps people with different personalities and backgrounds to stay united.
Furthermore, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 explains that love is patient, kind, and keeps no record of wrongs. This suggests that simply avoiding arguments isn't enough. We need to cultivate a love that motivates us to forgive and treat others well.
14. How do we know that Philemon was hospitable?
We know this because Philemon made his house available to the congregation for meetings, as Philemon 2 indicates. Furthermore, in verse 22, Paul asked him to prepare lodging for him, which shows that he trusted in his generosity.
His hospitality surely made many brothers feel welcome and encouraged. This is also reflected in verse 7, where Paul speaks of the comfort Philemon had provided to others.
This makes us realize that hospitality isn't simply about offering a meal or having a nice house, but about opening our time and our hearts. We can be hospitable even with limited resources.
ADDITIONAL COMMENT
Philemon was hospitable because he offered his home for congregational meetings, as Philemon 2 states. Furthermore, in verse 22, Paul asked him for lodging, demonstrating his trust in Philemon's generosity. His example teaches us that hospitality involves sharing our time and resources so that others feel loved and welcome.
15. Why will we love our brothers and sisters more if we are hospitable? (See also the pictures).
Because hospitality allows us to get to know our brothers and sisters better and discover qualities we might not see during meetings. Sometimes we tend to associate with the same people because we have similar tastes or a shared history. But when we invite someone from a different age group or with different experiences, we can discover their faith, the trials they have endured, and how they came to know Jehovah.
John 6:44 reminds us that Jehovah draws people to himself. This makes us realize that each brother has a story worth hearing and that his presence in the congregation is valuable.
The better we know someone, the easier it is to understand their circumstances, overlook minor differences, and forgive them when they make a mistake. Hospitality expands our affection and helps us see the beauty of such a diverse spiritual family.
ILLUSTRATION
Series of images: 1. Philemon with Paul's letter. 2. At a social gathering, the brothers from the previous images are smiling and chatting with other brothers.
Like Philemon, let us be hospitable to contribute to the unity of the congregation (see paragraph 15).
16. What might Philemon have done to apply the words of Colossians 3:13?
Philemon may have recalled Paul's words when the congregation in Colossae read the letter containing Colossians 3:13. There, they are advised to keep putting up with one another and forgiving one another generously, just as Jehovah forgives us.
We don't know if Philemon directly connected those words with what had happened to Onesimus, but it's reasonable to think that the advice helped him reflect on his own situation. Perhaps he still had reason to feel hurt, but he knew that Christian love should influence his reaction.
This makes us think that Bible reading shouldn't be limited to something we hear during a service. We need to ask ourselves how it applies to our relationships. Sometimes, a piece of advice we study can help us with an issue we've been trying to resolve for a long time.
17. What does Paul's advice "Keep putting up with one another" mean?
This means we should be patient with others' imperfections and treat them with kindness, even when they irritate or disappoint us. Colossians 3:13 reminds us that Jehovah forgives us, and Psalm 103:14 explains that he knows our limitations and remembers that we are dust.
Lamentations 3:22, 23 also highlights that his displays of loyal love and mercy are renewed. Therefore, imitating Jehovah means not reducing a brother to his worst moment, but remembering his qualities and the effort he makes to serve him.
This makes us think of the plant analogy. Even if it doesn't have flowers, it still deserves care. Similarly, a sibling may go through a phase where it's hard to see their good qualities, but that doesn't erase everything we value about them.
18. What do each of us want to do?
We want to look for ways every day to contribute to the peace of the congregation. This involves treating our brothers and sisters with kindness, speaking well of them, and acknowledging our mistakes when we have offended them. We also want to cultivate a strong love, one that is able to forgive generously and to look upon others with the same mercy that Jehovah shows us.
Psalm 37:11 promises that the meek will inherit the earth and fully enjoy abundant peace. What a beautiful prospect! We can begin cultivating right now the kind of peace we want to enjoy forever.
This makes us realize that every gesture counts, no matter how small: an apology, a word of encouragement, an invitation, or the decision not to hold a grudge. If everyone does their part, the congregation will be a warmer spiritual refuge.
WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM THE FOLLOWING BIBLICAL CHARACTERS?
The apostle Paul
From Paul we learn to treat others with kindness and respect, even when we ourselves are going through difficulties. We also learn to offer sincere praise, speak well of our brothers and sisters, and appeal to love instead of trying to impose our will. His example teaches us that our words can help resolve problems and protect the peace of the congregation.
Onesimus
Onesimus teaches us that when we make a mistake, we must have the humility and courage to acknowledge it and take the necessary steps to repair the damage. It is not enough to simply lament what happened; we must take the initiative to make peace. His example encourages us not to let pride prevent us from restoring good relationships with our brothers and sisters.
Philemon
From Philemon we learn that love, hospitality, and a willingness to forgive are essential for maintaining unity. If we get to know our brothers and sisters better and focus on their good qualities, we will find it easier to understand them and overlook their mistakes. In this way, we imitate Jehovah’s mercy and help make the congregation a place where everyone feels loved.
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